Friday, October 28, 2011

costumes for glasses wearers

First, let me point out the obvious--that 'glasses wearers' is an incredibly awkward phrase. Say it aloud, I'll wait.

See what I mean?

Moving right along. When you wear glasses, your costume options shrink considerably. I have a terrible habit of coming up with great costumes before remembering, oh yeah, I wear glasses. Before anyone asks--no, I don't wear contacts. Never have. Maybe someday, but not now. Contacts wearers can buzz off, since this post isn't really applicable to them.

As a workaround for the glasses, you have three options:

1. Go without them. I've done this in the past, but due to the ever-decreasing strength of my vision (and ever-increasing strength of my prescription) there are very real dangers that accompany this choice.

2. Look like a dork. Put on your rockin costume, and then put on your glasses. This is a lame option, particularly when you have to wear the glasses over a mask of some kind.

3. Incorporate glasses into your costume. By far your best choice.

If you want to work glasses into a costume, you have several options.

For the dudes, there are famous characters like Harry Potter, Dwight Schrute, John Lennon, or Urkel. There are also generic costumes, like nerd, or old man.

For the ladies, we got Velma, Daria, Ugly Betty, Enid...as well as generic costume options like nerd, old woman, or librarian (as I posted about earlier this week).

These options are all well and good, but I'd like to propose yet another option: go as something that doesn't exist. Easy enough on Halloween, no? Zombies are great because they're just us. Some of us where glasses, hence some zombies would wear glasses too. Mutant creatures that are part human would also work (spoiler alert: I'm planning on something like this for myself). Get creative with props and makeup--go as a guy with an alien bursting out of his chest! He's just a guy with an alien coming out of his chest--he can also be a glasses wearer, right? Make one of those big costumes that make it look like you're headless. Your head can still wear glasses!

If made up creatures and horrors don't strike your fancy, stick to reality. Go as a stereotyped version of a profession; i.e., doctor, nurse, firefighter, teacher, cop, lumberjack, waitress, butler, maid, pizza delivery guy--it doesn't matter. All these people wear glasses.

Real people wear glasses. Don't let a cool costume infringe on your glasses wearing rights!

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